The Darkness is Real
The devil is real.
We all “kind-of” know that… but, truth be told, we often aren’t really sure what that actually means… or how to deal with it. Some of us may not really want to think about it all that much, because we’re afraid… or confused… or maybe you’re one of those who knows the devil is real, and has experienced his presence, but you don’t know what to do about it or how to get out of his grip (or help those who are).
Today I’m going to share with you an interview with a girl who is very dear to me. A girl who has been through an incredible amount of pain, grief, and darkness in her short life. But God has brought her out of it all safely, and she is now full of the joy of His presence. My hope is that her testimony is both a help and an encouragement to those of you who are stuck in fear and bondage to the devil—that there IS a way out!
AND, for those of you who are still skeptical about the devil’s existence and the reality of his presence in our world and his work amongst the young people of our society today… I hope this testimony is eye-opening to you, and moves you to earnest prayer on their behalf… and I hope it stirs you to action to rescue any you can from the devil’s grip. This is reality. This is why there are so many suicides and kids filled with darkness and despair. We cannot sit passively by while the devil deceives and destroys lives with impunity. We MUST fight back.
Can you fill us in a bit on how you grew up, and what “normal life” looked like for you as a child?
I grew up without the guidance of either parent. My dad left right away, and my mom was an alcoholic. I was tossed between family members and my mother’s friends. My mom dated a lot, only, she dated women, as she is a lesbian. I saw her blaze through so many relationships, including those which sometimes involved other kids. I saw the damage done by these relationships, and I often got the blame when they ended. Normal life for me was never staying in one place; it was living with whoever my mom dated, and often getting left behind so she could go out drinking. Sometimes I wouldn’t see her for months, and didn’t know if she was coming back. I became depressed, suicidal, and got into self-harm. I was medicated and anorexic and I began to look for comfort in all the wrong places. Those wrong places led me to a cult and to demons.
When did you really start to get into dark, demonic things yourself? What was it that drew you in?
I really started to get into dark, demonic things in my sophomore year of high school. I liked the feeling of having the protection I thought I was being promised. I was drawn in by the promise of never being alone and having a “spirit” to look after me; a “spirit” I could call my own and which would defend me. I wanted to be part of something bigger than myself, and I figured I could do that if I were something more than human. There was a “pack” of demon-bound students in my school, which I joined up with. Each pack member got a demon which stayed with them, and was always supposedly in the form of a wolf. These students would enter the bodies of their demons and command them to go about and to kill other demons. I wanted to be a part of something like that because it was bigger than myself, it was adventure, and because I craved the closeness of a pack.
Can you summarize what it was (as far as the demonic activity) that you were drawn into?
When I got into the pack, I didn’t know it was a cult because they seemed like regular high school kids, and like they didn’t want to hurt anyone. When I joined, I was bound to a demon that controlled fire, and was taught how to use this demonic power… BUT, by getting that close to demons, I attracted other demons to me that tried to kill me and control me. I had voices in my head all the time.
How prevalent was all this in your school? How connected through the rest of the country—or was this an isolated group?
There were at least a dozen students bound to demons in my school that I knew about, but they knew another pack in Nebraska (a state not at all close to where I lived). This particular cult is spread all across the U.S. and Canada. I cannot even fathom how many people are stuck in this mess. It was definitely not an isolated incident; there are SO many kids involved in it. There are even little kids “in training” that are relatives of those who are already bound to their demons.
When did you start to want to be free? How easy was it to get free? What kind of process did God have to take you through to get you free?
I was sitting behind my door one day, at home alone, and I was crying out to no one in particular. I had been hurt, and the demons wouldn’t leave me alone. I was so tired of cutting myself and feeling worthless. I had grabbed a kitchen knife and wanted to slit my throat. I had thought about overdosing so many times, but never went through with it. I raised the knife to my throat but I hesitated, and in that moment, God called out to me. He asked me where I was going—where I would go when I died? Of course I knew I wouldn’t be going to Heaven—only good people went there, and I was into all things demonic. But God told me He had plans for me. He had found me in the darkest place and still He came for me. God loved me so much that even with all I had done, He wanted me. He didn’t look down on me and say I was too far gone. He didn’t want anything from me—He wanted ME! Even though I had nothing, even though I was bound to demons, even though I was broken and dead inside, He wanted me—even when I was so, so filthy. THAT is when I wanted to be free. I wanted God because He wanted me… just because He loves me. It was a while after that that God began healing my heart and washing me clean, and He had me surrender anything related to the cult that I had. Then, I prayed for the bonds to be broken… and… I was free! There was a lot of healing to come, but I was free of demons, and I felt the weight of them fall off of me.
What would you most want to say to someone else who is stuck in a similar situation?
I want to tell the people stuck in a situation like this that it isn’t a game. It isn’t “safe” to play around with… and there is a greater Love for you! God won’t treat you like the demons do. He won’t put that much pressure and weight on you. There is no love in those kinds of cults. God will not leave you alone, He won’t let you suffer, and He will stay with you all the days of your life and protect you for REAL. Demons may promise protection, but they cannot deliver what they have promised. They are liars, and their way is death. But God is real! He is more powerful, and He is good. When you surrender your life to Him, He will guard you from their grip for real.
What do you think parents, grandparents, and church-goers who don’t know what to think of the devil or the current amount of demonic activity in the world need to know and do?
I want to tell those who don’t know what to think about the devil that he is VERY real. Demons are very real, and they aren’t trying to help you, and they don’t actually give you power like they promise. There is so much demonic activity in the world that Christians need to be on high alert. It is far more common and widespread than anyone thinks it is. Please pray for the Lord’s guidance, and be active Christians. Remember: this is a battle. Tell your children and grandchildren about the devil; tell them the dangers of these things while they are still growing up, and train them in battle.
What is the best way to help kids who are stuck in these things find their way out?
The best thing to do for kids who are in this is to pray for them, take every opportunity you can to talk about Christ with them, and show them His love. Most of the time kids don’t even know what it is they have gotten into, and they don’t know how serious the devil is (he isn’t playing around, even if they are). Tell these kids that the devil is real. Take Proverbs 22:6 seriously when it says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Is there a way to tell what kids are stuck in these things?
It is so hard to differentiate who is stuck in these demonic things and who isn’t. There is no specific behavior or mark to identify them. That is what makes this so scary; it is like a plague with no symptoms. The devil has created a seemingly perfect trap. There is no specific age, no specific gender or race. However, kids stuck in this trap usually stay away from Christians and withdraw from family… but then, most teenagers do those things today anyway.
Now, looking back, what are the biggest differences you see between serving demons and serving God?
Serving God has brought me more joy than I ever knew I could have! God does not endanger me. He keeps me truly save, and promises me real and lasting love for all of my days. Serving demons was being on edge everyday, not knowing when the next attack would come… but knowing it WOULD come. Everything about me became different when I began serving God instead of demons. I became happier, healthier, at peace, and I started seeing my family more often. I became a real person again, instead of being controlled by the whims of the devil. God doesn’t think of you as a slave like demons do. He is a Father that only has His children’s best interests and well-being in mind. There are no words to describe how loved you feel when you serve God.