“Like me or hate me, it’s your choice. I won’t pretend to be someone I’m not. I am who I am, and I won’t change.”

I see things like this everywhere online, and I hear so many girls talking this way. It’s not always the same phrase, but it’s the same attitude. Many times, it’s something that is mingled with a mantra for girls to not worry about how they look – which is something that I do think is way over-glorified in our culture…but does that make it ok?

I’ve seen this attitude take friends of mine down very dangerous roads, and I’ve watched people I’ve known destroy their own lives because of this very attitude. It’s not just an innocent way of thinking to help girls not to think badly of themselves. It’s a deadly snare. (Just understand, however, that this is not the same thing as having Godly standards, and refusing to compromise on them.)

Why?

At the root of it is pride. Pride is so deadly because it cuts us off from being able to receive any correction or help. We stubbornly plow through anyone who stands in our way, whether or not they were standing there to try to keep us from blindly leaping off of a 500 foot drop. Pride numbs us to the importance of there being an absolute right and wrong, and it blinds us to sin. So often, with this kind of pride filling our hearts, we have decided that the problem is with everyone else – not us. Everyone else is being judgmental and un-loving. We don’t want to believe that there could be anything wrong with how we are living…and honestly, we really just don’t want to have to give up the things that we enjoy doing.

This attitude says that there’s both good and bad in us, if someone doesn’t like what we’re doing, we shouldn’t have to change; if they don’t love all of the bad along with the good, then they don’t really love us. It says that, unless we are living how we want to with freedom, we are living a lie. Of course we don’t want to live a lie! But at the very heart of the gospel is the need for change, humility, boundaries, and yes – even submission…in fact, even cheerful submission! Our sin nature loves to do what is wrong…and set free without bounds to do what it wants, it would be like a wild tiger- savage and dangerous. Without limits, we will always lean toward doing things that will destroy us. This is why God gave us commandments! Not because He is mean or doesn’t love us – but because He does love us, and He wants to keep us from getting hurt! It is so important that we don’t live un-checked lives, doing whatever we want without anyone saying a word to us. Though to many people that sounds like an ideal society, in reality it would be a terrible, broken society full of hurt and destruction….much like our society currently is. In fact, it is because of this attitude – this pride, and not wanting to change our way of living or listen to instruction – that our society is the way it is!

But the gospel is about changing our whole lives! God gives us new hearts, and along with those new hearts, He gives us new desires and goals. He also gives us commands that we need to follow to keep us in the right way. Are we living a lie if we learn what God’s commands are and obey them – even if that means changing the way we act and think? Are we living a lie because we aren’t doing all the same things we used to love doing? Are we living a lie because we don’t want to swear any more or watch horror movies or live in the depths of depression? No! Of course not! Jesus gives us new hearts and desires – that means that the old things must change, and DO change…and it is good! Every change that Jesus brings to our lives is SO good! The truth of the matter is that our old, sinful way of living is the lie! We wallow in the muck of our sinful lives for so long because the devil lies to us and tells us that it’s fun and it will be fulfilling if we just stick around…and he will even tell us that there’s no way out – all of which is a lie! But Jesus came so that we could truly live in freedom and joy – freedom from our slavery to sin and the lies of the devil! And His laws show us that there is, in fact, a right and a wrong…which I am so glad for! If I didn’t have guideposts, I would be making a mess of my life and the lives of everyone around me – of this I am very certain. Even if God hadn’t told us specifically what things were wrong, we would still have to deal with the consequences of them. But He has told us! And we should take that as a great mercy toward us! The fact that we can know what things are wrong and going to cause pain and trouble if we persist in them is amazing, because when we know, we can do something about it! Because Jesus came to rescue us from our sins, we don’t have to stay stuck in them – the very things that are destroying us!

Now, you might wonder, “But do I have to change every little thing that people think is wrong with me? Do I have to try to measure up to what people think I should be?”

The answer to these questions is sticky and can be different depending on the particulars of circumstances…so try to hear the heart of what I’m saying in this limited amount of space that I have. The short answer is: no. Ok, now here’s the longer answer:

First of all, you don’t really have much power to change yourself anyway. You’ve probably noticed that. Without the Spirit of God to fill you and change your heart, you really won’t be able to live as God requires. Now, we do have to choose to obey God’s commands, and not to do the things that are wrong. But it is God’s Spirit that gives us the power to resist temptation and to do what is right. And God wants to change the things that are sinful in us, and make us more and more into children of light. Though you probably won’t be able to be perfect any time soon, Jesus actually calls us to strive for it; instead of being apathetic and not caring how you live or how much sin is in your heart, Jesus tells us to set our sights on being perfect, so that we are always pressing forward to be more and more like Him, and so that we don’t get stuck in a place of complacency and thinking we’re simply ‘good enough’. (Matthew 5:48)

Now, God has given you your parents to help you to grow up right, and you are called to honor them, and what they ask you to do….and when they point out an area of sin or weakness in your life, you need to accept it humbly and bring it to God in prayer and ask Him to change you and help you to live in a way that is a blessing to others – especially them. If you heed their warnings, chances are that you will save yourself a lot of trouble and heartache. What about those who aren’t your parents? If someone (particularly a fellow Christian) comes to you with a concern, listen, and ask God for humility and His help to not get offended. It is so easy to get offended by someone bringing a concern to you that means that you did something that wasn’t quite right. But listen to them, and bring what they say to God in prayer. They might just be right – often times it can be easier for someone standing on the outside of situations to see more clearly what is wrong and what needs to be done. And if you do find that they are right, even if it stings at first, you may save yourself much pain by listening to them and heeding their advice.

At the same time, your job is, first and foremost, to be seeking God daily, and to be striving to live according to HIS standards…and finding your identity and confidence in Him (not in trying to measure up to everyone’s ideas of what you should be like), and then getting out and telling people everywhere about Him and what He is doing in your life, and what He can also do in their lives. When you are doing those things, everything else will fall into place, and there is no pride in that way of striving after God, because we know that, without God doing miracles in our hearts, we would be lost…and without His power strengthening us, and picking us up, and sometimes almost having to force us to do what is right, nothing good would come out of our lives. We know who we really are, and where God is calling us to be…and we are humbled that He has such patience with us. We will begin to see that who we were was not something to be proud of…but instead, change in our hearts and lives is to be sought after and embraced with gladness! We get to see this more and more clearly as we let Him change us, and make us new. And this ‘making us new’ is not a one-time-and-it’s-over thing, it’s an ongoing, daily work that will continue for the rest of our lives. Start here: Take some time today to ask the Lord to show you any areas in your life that aren’t pleasing to Him – things that He wants to change in you, if you’ll let Him – and then begin to pray about those things, and ask God to take them out of you and to change you so that you can bring more glory to Him. This life is not about us doing what we want or feeling good about ourselves; it’s about bringing glory to Jesus, and showing the world that He is beautiful!

As soon as God directs you to have faith for something that seems impossible, or when He tells you to do something that doesn’t seem logical, or to wait for Him to act, instead of plowing ahead in your own plans, the devil is always right there, ready to slander God to you. The devil will whisper, “He won’t hold up His end of the deal.” Or, “You’re just a sinner, so why should God bless you like that, or hear your prayers?” And then, our first response? Fear. Fear and then our minds begin racing to think up a “better” plan. A plan that’s less risky, more likely to succeed, and – best of all -a plan that we can make happen ourselves, instead of waiting on God to bring His plan to pass in timing that is different than our own.

How do I know this? Oh…just many times of failing to hold onto faith. Many times of circumstances seeming too big and scary…and feeling like God wasn’t acting fast enough. Then my mind would start to whirl, coming up with a plan B, C, and D that all seemed more appealing than ‘A’: waiting for God. It seemed like, if I waited, the situation would crush me to pieces – and then, of course, it would be too late for God to do anything. At least, that is what my mind would tell me.

I am also a fairly resourceful person, so I was be able to think of dozens of ways to “get through” a circumstance in my own strength, without even having to pray or wait. And then, even when I did get up the courage to pray, the devil would have me convinced that I was just being selfish, and that I had too many needs, and that I was being a bother to God by bringing them all to Him…and so, in the midst of my praying, there my mind would start whirling again, coming up with options that were less “bothersome” to God; things I could do to “help Him out” a little. Does God need help? What happens when we try to bring things about with our own ideas?

There is an excellent (and sobering) example of this very thing in the Bible. It is an example that God showed to me, and helped me to realize that I was doing the very same thing, and it has caused me to be much less inclined to “make things happen” myself instead of waiting for God.

First, God promises Abraham (also called Abram) a son, in Genesis 15:1-6, “After these things the word of the LORD came to Abram in a vision: ‘Fear not, Abram, I am your shield; your reward shall be very great.’ But Abram said, ‘O Lord GOD, what will you give me, for I continue childless, and the heir of my house is Eliezer of Damascus?’ And Abram said, ‘Behold, you have given me no offspring, and a member of my household will be my heir.’ And behold, the word of the LORD came to him: ‘This man shall not be your heir; your very own son shall be your heir.’ And He brought him outside and said, ‘Look toward heaven, and number the stars, if you are able to number them.’ Then He said to him, ‘So shall your offspring be.’ And he believed the LORD, and He counted it to him as righteousness.”

Then, his wife, Sarai (also called Sarah), comes to him, and reminds him that he doesn’t have any children yet…and that she is not getting any younger. She then gives her servant girl as a wife to him (back then, this was a common pagan practice…however, it wasn’t God’s way), so that he could at least have a child somehow, even if it wasn’t through her.

Sarai’s servant girl does end up having a son, whom they name Ishmael. However, this is what God had to say about it, in Genesis 17:15-21: “And God said to Abraham, ‘As for Sarai your wife….I will bless her, and moreover, I will give you a son by her. I will bless her, and she shall become nations; kings of peoples shall come from her.’ Then Abraham fell on his face and laughed and said to himself, ‘Shall a child be born to a man who is a hundred years old? Shall Sarah, who is ninety years old, bear a child?’ And Abraham said to God, ‘Oh that Ishmael might live before you!’ God said, ‘No, but Sarah your wife shall bear you a son, and you shall call his name Isaac. I will establish my covenant with him as an everlasting covenant for his offspring after him. As for Ishmael, I have heard you; behold, I have blessed him and will make him fruitful and multiply him greatly. He shall father twelve princes, and I will make him into a great nation. But I will establish my covenant with Isaac, whom Sarah shall bear to you at this time next year.’”

And, just as God said, Sarah DID have a son! And he is the one who God used as one of the direct fathers of the nation of Israel. Now, it is very interesting to know what ended up happening to Ishmael…and who he ended up fathering. Most of Ishmael’s descendants ended up becoming the Arab nations…which have been a thorn in the side of Israel (as well as other nations) ever since. This is exactly the kind of thing that happens when we try to come up with our own, “better” plans, when we don’t feel like waiting on God’ s plans. Sure, He may allow them to take place, and even to “prosper”…but just think at what peace Israel would have had without the descendants of Ishmael surrounding them and continually making war against them! And, in the end, God still brings His own plans to pass. He still kept His promise to give Abraham a son through Sarah…even though it was years after Ishmael was born. He didn’t use Ishmael to bring forth the nation of Israel at all…even though it seemed like a “good idea” at the time. Waiting on God’s plans will always bring the greatest blessing, and without all of the “aftermath” mess that almost always comes attached to our own plans.

God knows what is best. He can see a much bigger picture than we can…and He is not only concerned about getting us where we need to be; He is also even more concerned about our hearts, and the lessons we need to learn along the way. His plans bring forth not only the best short-term blessing, but they bear lasting fruit in our hearts and lives! (“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” James 1:2-5)

When we cling to Him in faith, and press forward persistently in prayer, it is not only NOT a “bother” to God, but it shows Him that we really believe what He says, and we trust Him! In fact, when we let fear into our minds, it not only is telling God that we don’t trust Him and that He isn’t powerful enough or big enough to rescue us and to meet our needs, but fear is a playground for the devil. When we let go of our trust in God, is is like giving the devil a free pass at filling our minds with all of the lies he wants to. Trust in God requires holding onto the promises of God and His goodness. When we don’t trust God, it’s telling the devil that we really aren’t holding onto anything, and we aren’t sure what we should think, which makes us an easy target. When we don’t know what to think, the devil is all too glad to give us “suggestions”. The devil will use that open door to speak all kinds of hurtful things into our hearts about God and even about others! He will use it to destroy our peace, and to cause our hearts to be in turmoil and dread. He uses it to try to push us to the point of suspicion of God, and even thinking that God is purposefully being mean to us! If we could simply see what God sees, we would see that there is no need to fear at all – not even a little bit, and we could see that God’s plans are at work even before we can see the answers! (Isaiah 65:24, “Before they call I will answer; while they are yet speaking I will hear.”) These are the sort of things that we must hold onto in the midst of the testing of our faith!  And, as Genesis 15:6 said, our faith and trust in the Lord is even counted to us as righteousness – meaning, that even though we have to daily cry out to God for His strength to fill us so that we can even keep holding on to him in faith in the trying circumstances that surround us, He still looks at that tiny mustard-seed of faith as something we did right (even though it’s only because of His strength that we could ever do it!), and it is a delight to His heart! It’s a mystery and a blessing. Our God is so gentle and gracious to us weak, frail humans! Any little effort we make toward Him and toward trusting Him, He rewards, and is blessed by it! It’s so amazing! He is so humble.

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” Matthew 5:8

Such a precious promise; one of my favorite in the Bible. “…for they shall SEE God”! This is my heart’s desire, and it makes me want to study the conditions of receiving this promise all the more, so that I may make it my own.

Now, there can be much confusion about the meaning of “purity” and the method of obtaining the promise. People are all over the place in what they believe about this one, and yet, it is so simple, and the answer is set so near to our grasp, that we often reach past it. And it can be so hard for us to be satisfied with the simple truth of the gospel, because we humans are proud, and we want to have some part in rescuing ourselves, or at least being able to say, “I did such-and-such, which gave me a better standing before the Lord.” That is why the gospel is so difficult for so very many people to take hold of; because it is too simple for them. They feel like there should be more to it…more things they have to do, rituals that need to be kept, self-punishment to be administered, and a quota of good works that needs to be filled. “Free gift?” they think, “Well, if it’s free, then it can’t be very good.” And they move on to some other religion that requires them to wear certain clothes, and say prayers at certain times, because they are unwilling to just humble themselves and accept that Jesus already paid the full price for our sins to be removed from us!

There are many people who may believe that they have done too many wrong things to take hold of this promise for themselves. They read, “Blessed are the pure in heart…” and stop there, because they know their hearts are far from pure, and there doesn’t seem to even be any hope for them to come close to the promise that follows…so they don’t even try. They are held back by their guilt and discouragement, and they decide that there’s no point in even trying to reach that beautiful promise, so they go off in the opposite direction, because…that is all they know…and they already know they are successful at their sin. They are afraid of failing to obtain that which their hearts so long for…they are afraid of disappointment.

There are also those who think that “pure in heart” must mean that they must live without touching the world…because it is so filthy and dangerous. They think they must live in their own happy worlds of innocence in order to have any hope of seeing God. Many parents believe this of their children, and do their best to try to keep their children innocent, and unaware of all of the sin that goes on in the world. Any mention of sin, and they cover the little ears, hoping that these young ones might escape the pull of sin by lack of knowledge. And truly, what good parent wouldn’t desire for their children to escape the sins that they themselves have fallen into? But in every case that I have seen, these children who have been so diligently sheltered, always end up finding sin…and in many cases, their fall is harder, because along with the lack of knowledge about sin, they have not learned how to wage war against it effectively either! On top of this, sin, in many ways, is a gift. Now, obviously, we should not seek it – we should be running from it – but without sin, there is no real understanding of how much we need a savior!

There are also those who read, “‘Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.’” (Matthew 18:3) They think that you have to act like a child in order to enter heaven…and so, run off into childishness and silliness, thinking that it is the same as being pure. But they have missed the next verse, which goes on to say, “‘Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.’” (Matthew 18:4) It is the humility of a child that we must desire to emulate (the willingness to come right up to the Lord’s feet without hesitation, and to take hold of His gift of salvation eagerly, without trying to come up with some way that we can become our own saviors)…not the silly naivety, not the reckless goofiness from lack of self-control…and not even the innocence of a baby, which is what makes them so very sweet. A baby’s innocence comes from a lack of knowledge…but God wants us to know the wickedness of sin, and to not want it any more. True purity is a sober, earnest pursuit of God, and a fleeing from childish folly and sinful things. You also won’t be able to hold onto any desire for ‘coolness’, because God’s purity brings a joy and sweetness that isn’t ‘cool’ and doesn’t let us hold onto whatever ideas of being ‘cool’ we may have. That is another reason purity requires humility; God’s purity will look foolish to those who are striving after ‘cool’, and we need to be able to humble ourselves to the point that we no longer care, and are glad to be made so totally new that the ‘cool crowd’ thinks we’re weird!

Purity vs. Innocence:

Oswald Chambers has written, “Innocence in a child’s life is a beautiful thing, but men and women ought not to be innocent; they ought to be tested and tried and pure. No man is born pure: purity is the outcome of conflict. The pure man is not the man who has never been tried, but the man who knows what evil is and has overcome it.”

The reason newborn babies are so sweet is because they are innocent, and it IS a beautiful thing. But innocence is not what we should be building our lives around striving for. It will never work. Sin is everywhere, and it finds its way into our hearts no matter where we live or how careful we are. That willfulness that rises up in a toddler when told not to do something is not something that comes from anything in the world. It is a seed that is in the heart of every person as soon as they are born, and it will grow, and become evident in our lives. It was even in the hearts of the most ‘innocent’ humans to ever live: Adam and Eve. They were the most ‘sheltered’ humans to ever exist, living in a secluded garden made by God Himself especially for them, and not having any other people around to influence them wrongly. And yet…the devil found them there. And their own sin – the seed of sin that was already in their hearts – was played with…’watered’ – and their pride both sprouted and brought forth a harvest of consequences that day; the day that they disobeyed God. This is why Romans 3:23 says, “For ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”. There has never been a person who has escaped sinning. There is no one who has retained the innocence of a little baby. Innocence is sweet…and as long as it can last, it is cherished. Sadly, any who strive after it will be sorely disappointed. However, when our sinful nature grows in our hearts, and we come to the place of realizing just how much we have hurt God by disobeying His law, we are so much more grateful to find the way out, through the salvation of Jesus! Romans 4:7-8 says, “‘Blessed are those whose lawless deeds are forgiven, and whose sins are covered; blessed is the man against whom the Lord will not count his sin.’”

So what is it that we should be striving for, if it isn’t innocence?

Purity.

Purity can only come when we have had to fight against sin, and have had the victory! Purity can only come when we have humbled ourselves before the Lord, like little children, and let Him remove all of the evil desires from our hearts, giving us new desires…and new hearts.

To those who feel like they have sinned so much that they can never be “pure in heart” – fear not! “For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.” (Titus 2:11-14 ESV) All that you must do is take hold of the salvation of God through Jesus Christ! He will teach you how to overcome your sinful desires. The more you surrender your life to Jesus, the more He is able to purge the impurities out of it. Purity doesn’t mean you have to clean yourself up in order to stand before God. When we get a glimpse of His holiness, we can often feel like this is the case. However, purity simply means that we must admit our great sin to God and allow Him to remove it from us. We must simply be willing to let it go, and let Him wash us clean.

Purity means that when our sinful desire comes knocking at our door, we won’t open to it, because we already know the outcome of those sins, and we don’t want to have anything to do with them any more.

And as we daily battle our flesh, and daily overcome, we shall be refined, like gold is refined (melted) in a fire so that the impurities can be removed. And as we are made pure, we SHALL see God. As the old sins and desires are removed from our hearts, we will be able to see God’s beauty in a new way! We will be able to see the delicate flowers, and smell the spicy breeze, and dance for joy in the tall grass. We can more clearly see His workmanship in every leaf, in every cloud, in the stars. And…we will get to see Him as we let Him draw close to us, as we let Him in to our hearts to renovate them and make them new. He will no longer be to us a “far off” God…but closer than the air we breathe. We will see Him as He leads us, as He lifts us up every time we stumble, and as He fills us with new life. We will see God because there will no longer be veils between us and Him; no sins darkening our vision, no pulls of worldly ‘delights’ lowering our gaze…and when we go to spend time with Him, we will be able to behold His beauty with nothing between us but love and great joy!

And we, who have tasted of the bitterness of sin and all of its deceitfulness, and have been made pure, are grateful beyond words…for we know what it is that we have been saved from…and we are so overjoyed to have found rest for our souls in the purity and holiness of Jesus, and the new hearts He gives us.