I was thinking about love languages and, well, showing love to people in general. I think at least in part love languages probably fall in with our overeager tendency to dissect and label every aspect of the human being, but this is a little different from previous posts.

The problem is, showing love is often packaged as a luxury. “This person likes gifts, so I will give him a card.” “This person likes quality time, so I will take her on a date.” They all end up being somewhat based on an event, a single crescendo of affection. These things are not trivial, but crescendos are nothing without the context of rhythm in an ongoing melody.
What is quality time without quantity time? What are cards and gifts without provision for needs? What are words of affirmation without words? What is physical affection without physical presence? What are acts of service without long term commitment?
Essentially, showing love is usually marketed like interior decorating rather than building. Curtains are not without their purpose and significance, but they’re nothing without a foundation to your house. I think this is mainly because love is treated as synonymous with gratification and romance. If loving someone means gratifying them, it will always be optional: a luxury investment in the emotional economy, so to speak. Love is not the act of gratification. Hopefully it does tug out at least a few smiles, but love is meeting needs.

Love is patient – This is not a gift that can be given in a brief moment. This is a commitment to the whole of situation, perhaps decades.
Love is kind – And not randomly. This takes active training.
Does not envy – You aren’t weighing whether you are gratified against someone else’s life, and you aren’t charging it to your loved ones’ accounts.
Is not boastful – Throw away bragging rights at love’s door. There will be no room for the poison of self-glorification here.
Does not behave unseemly – No qualifiers here. There are some actions, words, and facial expressions that must simply be swallowed and eliminated from our hearts.
Seeks not her own – This doesn’t sound like a single “event” does it? There is never a “one time I was selfless.” Love is also not about what we get out of it.
Thinks no evil – Seriously swallow those thoughts. Take every thought captive, put to death every thought that is a traitor (yes, death is one of the biggest love words).
Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth – Yes, meeting needs means being the bad guy if evil is seeking to be gratified. If love were gratification, you would be a cheerleader for every pet sin that grieves the heart of God. This could well become the death of the one you love.
Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things – Who ever heard of endurance as a love language? “All things” is based on needs, struggles, challenges, pains, deaths, betrayal, not only on compliments or occasionally taking out the trash.
Love never fails. – Gratification always will. Don’t found your love on wallpaper and a nice pair of drapes. Build your house on the corner stone, walk in step with the Spirit, deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow daily.
Love never fails.

There are many nice people in the world.  From those who hold the door, to those that pay for another’s meal at a drive-through, to that friend who will bend over backward to help a loved one in need, kindness can show up in this world where we least expect it.

Not every nice person wants to love Jesus.  As Christians, that fact can bewilder our faith.  How could God create so many nice people, and let them go to Hell?  It seems so wrong that He would destroy something beautiful, someone created in His own image, when we know that God is Love Himself.  What does He want us to know here?

Heaven is Holy

In the beginning, God called the world very good.  When mankind, through Adam, chose to follow their own path, their rejection of God’s love and goodness tainted everything in the world with evil, even what we perceive to be nice.  Not one of us is naturally good. (Psalm 14)  Even with “pretty good” people being allowed into Heaven, the stain of our selfishness, however small, would still be enough to darken the beauty and joy of His perfect Heaven.  In addition, unless we are covered by the blood of Christ, we will be burned up by the blazing purity of God, in all of His radiant glory. (Isaiah 6)

God Looks at the Heart

But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
~1 Samuel 16:7

We usually think of this verse as showing that we cannot judge others by what we see.  However, we also have to remember that we can even look at our own outward appearances and not see what is in our heart the way that God does.  It can be very easy for us to believe that we are good, trustworthy, kind people, faithful friends, and loving neighbors, but we can easily trick ourselves.

Without the consistent guidance of the Holy Spirit molding and transforming our hearts, we will always overlook the things in our lives that still grieve His Spirit and hurt others.  We will either brush it off and make excuses, or just never realize that the stain of wickedness goes so deep.  This goes for all of us.  It is not enough to attend church and have the world label you a Christian.  It has to be the Lord who calls us clean.

Jesus Loves All People

Isn’t that a reason He should let nice people into Heaven?  Well, the above reasons explain some of why not, but there is more.

 ^“Then they themselves also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, or thirsty, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not take care of You?’ Then He will answer them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.’ These will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”
~Matthew 25:44-46

Again, we are talking about nice people, so how does this verse prove the point?  Well, the servants of God will be in leadership in Heaven. (See the parable of the talents, also in chapter twenty-five.)  If we are caring for the very least, there is no room for our own selfishness.  Who are the least of these?  Each one of us judges outward appearances with different eyes.  Consider the parable of the Good Samaritan.  Jesus used him as an example of a good neighbor because of the animosity between Samaritans and Jews.  A Samaritan could help a Samaritan and would not be helping “the least of these”.  A Jew might help a Jew, a Greek might help a Greek.  A poor man might help a poor man without loving the least.

Jesus means to teach us love so that we will take care of His people.  Who is it hardest for you to love?  Being generally nice cannot make us love unconditionally.  Only Jesus can give us this love.  We cannot love others perfectly while rejecting Jesus.  Jesus promises us more than anything the world could ever offer us, because He is the King. (Luke 18:24-30)  If we reject the One who pours out every glory, will we ever love those who can give us nothing?  It is not that Jesus is too sensitive.  His heart weeps and breaks for those we reject.  He comes to them in their pain, and uses His own rejection to show where our hearts truly lie.

He is the standard of true, absolute goodness and love.  If we turn to Him, He will train us to love as only He can, and teach us true kindness and love through His Holy Spirit. (Galatians 5:22, 23).  None of this means that we ought to think less of the nice people we meet in they are not following Jesus.  On the contrary, we have have the chance to show them real love and kindness.

Keep loving.

Keep being kind.

Keep showing the selfless love of Jesus.

Most importantly: always be ready to share the reason for the hope that is in you. (1 Peter 3:15)

In part one, we talked about brightening Valentine’s Day for single moms.  In part two, the focus was on showing love to the elderly.  Now, with Valentine’s Day just over the horizon, I want to refocus again.

The fact is, everyone needs the reminder that Jesus loves them.  Valentine’s Day having the potential to be a lonely time, it can be a wonderful opportunity to express kindness to anyone.  When you are praying, ask the Lord to open your eyes to the places you might have overlooked where He might want to shine His loving light.

For you once were not a people, but now you are the people of God; you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.
~1 Peter 2:10

As you walk forward with Jesus, it can be so good to remember where you have been.  Where were you when He first called your name?  What was the first tear that He wiped away?  What walls did you have built up to protect yourself before His love broke through?  From where did His hand of mercy pull you free?

Remembering these things has been so important for me.  I’m not naturally social, so it can feel risky to start a conversation with someone or to offer an encouraging word.  Even when I was very good at hiding every kind of insecurity, others risked sharing their hearts with me.  They showed me Jesus when I was all alone, even though they didn’t know what I was going through.  Risky as it can feel, I don’t know what the story is behind the faces I see around me, sometimes not even the ones I interact with every day.  It can be so easy to go years without anyone discovering the ache in your heart, because they want to believe you when you say that you are fine and when you smile.  It reminds me that sometimes the “survivors,” the ones who seem the most fine, the ones to have it all together, are the ones that need the encouragement the most.  Even through their smiles, confidence, and self-reliance, they can be some of the Valentines that feel the most left behind.

What is such a blessing is that we do not know how small things can be used to plant seeds of joy in the lives of others.  Sometimes it can be discouraging to be unable to see whether taking a risk and caring for someone has done what we have hoped, but no seed Jesus has planted ever goes to waste.  Keep talking to Him as you take the small steps, and He will remind you of His purpose in what He is having you do.  Sometimes He will surprise you with the chance to learn just how much the things that you do might mean to another person.

So where will God lead you in reaching out to others?  Are there people at your church who could use the reminder that their work is appreciated?  Maybe a coworker needs to know that someone is there for them as they go throughout the day.  Perhaps cookies or a card would brighten the day for the mailman, your favorite

librarians, or a neighbor that you have.  You could encourage a sibling or family member, or even strike up a conversation with the cashier at your favorite café or fast food hangout.  It can be a step out of the old comfort zone, but don’t be afraid of the vulnerability that comes with being sincere.  You don’t have to wow anyone with a bubbly personality or amazingly deep and wise thoughts.  It is so meaningful just to have someone give an honest compliment, or shyly give a gift from the heart.  Jesus has so much more sweetness to share with the world than all of the clearance chocolate put together.  Stay close to Him this year, and watch where He takes you as that love rubs off on others in your life.  And have a very happy Valentine’s Day.

How has Jesus changed the way that you see Valentine’s Day?  If you have a story or a Bible verse that you would like to share, please let us know in the comments!  You can also start the conversation on Facebook.  I hope that your day is sweetly and richly blessed.