Following God is simple. But most of the time, it’s not exactly what any of us would expect.

People press in around us from the time we enter middle school, with questions, suggestions, always wondering what we’re going to do with our lives – urging us to make decisions, and follow our dreams, watching us, waiting for us to do something big – amazing – something to change the world. They’re always so supportive of the kids who decide that, when they grow up, they’re going to be a doctor, a firefighter, or a hairdresser. But for any who might be tender enough to voice their desire to be a “missionary”, there is often polite laughter, a pat on the head, and unending, “But what are you REALLY going to do with your life?” questions. And for those who don’t even have a clue, there is so much pressure to jump into college and spend tens of thousands of dollars “figuring out” what you want to do…because…well…you’ve got to be doing SOMETHING.

But let’s take a step back for a moment. Let’s lay aside all the pressure, the opinions, the advice…and just quiet our souls for a minute. There are always more things to be done, things that COULD be done, things that people think you should be doing. But what is it that God wants you to do? There is one question that keeps me going, and helps me to stay focused when my brain is trying to go 120 different directions at once…and my body can’t even comprehend what it would mean to keep up. Then the Holy Spirit cuts through my anxious, overwhelmed thoughts and says, “What if Jesus was coming back today? What would you want to accomplish before His return? What do you want to be doing when He comes back? Now DO that.”

That one line of thinking can change everything. In that light, there are suddenly a lot of things that seemed important, but aren’t. A lot of pressure that doesn’t need to exist. A lot of hesitation and questioning that can be swept away. And so much freedom to throw yourself into the Lord’s service with abandon.

If Jesus was coming back today, I would want to rescue as many lives as I could. I would want to share the gospel with as many people as possible. I would want to take advantage of every meeting with someone, whether at the store or on the street as if it was their last chance to be saved from judgement.

If Christ’s return was imminent, I wouldn’t have to worry about having enough money saved up. I wouldn’t worry about what people thought about me. I wouldn’t worry about having a good enough education. I would take what I do have, and what I do know, and go out into the world and preach the gospel. I would lay aside all my own plans, desires, and dreams…and every vision of success in the world, or what the world says I need to do or have. I would set out with just Jesus, and courageously go forth to do whatever He set before me. I would let Him fully and truly live through me, to do the things that are on His heart to do; the things that He would want to do if He was in His own body on earth right beside me.

Following God’s will isn’t that complicated. We can make it complicated, by inserting all of our “what-if’s” and fears and plans for ourselves. But really, if we were all perfectly honest, we would know what God is asking of us. We would know what His will is — it is to go forth and share the gospel with every person. No degrees required. And, if we could truly trust Him to provide, there would be no need to worry about money, or organizations supporting us, or anything. We could actually just go wherever He lead us.

It’s not complicated. But it’s not easy. It means that our lives are not our own. It means all of the rosy plans we had for ourselves are no longer our goal or aim. It means that any acclaim of the world, any recognition, any hope of fun or doing what we like or what we feel is our “gifting” is gone…and replaced by the urgency to just get out in any way possible and share the gospel with whoever will listen. Laying down our own lives to share God’s amazing love with the hurting, broken world at our doorstep.

God’s will means simply saying, “yes”. And going.

Katie Davis is an excellent modern-day example of a life surrendered to God, and what He can do through one who lays down their own desires and plans and ideas of what would be “fun” in order to rescue lives, and share God’s love. Katie was just a normal teenager in pursuit of all the things that were on the normal teenager’s mind: popularity, boys, a good career….and then, God showed up and turned her world upside-down.

After she graduated from high-school, she had decided to take a year off before going to college. She signed up for a short-term mission trip to a Ugandan orphanage, and, as she said, “I moved over there thinking that I would be there for a year and then I would come back and go to college and be normal again.” But God had other plans.

While she was there, God captured her heart and opened her eyes to see the desperate need of the people there…for someone to love them and to show them a better way.

“I quit my life…I quit college; I quit cute designer clothes and my little yellow convertible; I quit my boyfriend. I no longer have all the things the world says are important.”

Then…God took her back to Uganda, with no plans to ever return to her home land, and began to make her a mom, at 19, to little Ugandan girls who had no one to love them. God brought them to her, one-by-one, until she had 13 little ones in her care, and gave her charge over them as their mother, to love them, snuggle them, teach them, clean them…and to tell them about Jesus. She also started a ministry in her home, to any who wanted to come. She started “Amazima Ministries”, so that the destitute children would have someone to sponsor them, and so they could eat and go to school.

You might think, “Wow. It takes a special person to do that! I could never do something like that.” No! Don’t even think that way, friends! That thought is where the call of God dies. You must understand that NO ONE is spectacularly gifted to love people like that. We are all weak, sinful, and sorely lacking the love it takes. BUT, Jesus has said, “Come, and drink freely!” He has promised to give us all we need to do the work He sets before us. It’s not about how capable we are…it’s about allowing God to fill us with HIS power and strength, and to work and live through us.

As Katie expressed so well, “I remember when I wasn’t ready to move to Uganda. I remember when I wasn’t ready to kiss the people I loved the most goodbye. I remember when I didn’t have enough money to sponsor just ten children, and I remember when I wasn’t old enough to be a mother, and I remember when I didn’t know how to parent. I remember when I couldn’t cook for fifteen people and when I didn’t want to share my house and my things and my life with sick people and addicts. I remember when I was afraid of the slum community that now holds hundreds of friends and when I was terrified that my daughter would never walk and when I was scared that we would never heal after tragic loss. And I remember that never, not once, was I really as ready as I wanted to be. And I remember that God kept all His promises, every last one, in His perfect time.

This new season looms and I don’t know what is next. But He doesn’t need me to be ready for this season because He is ready. He just needs me to be clinging to His feet.

Now. This is where He has called us.”

“People tell me I am brave. People tell me I am strong. People tell me good job. Well here is the truth of it. I am really not that brave, I am not really that strong, and I am not doing anything spectacular. I am just doing what God called me to do as a follower of Him. Feed His sheep, do unto the least of His people.”

“I want to give everything, no matter the cost, because I believe that nothing is a sacrifice in light of eternity with Christ.”

“The goal of the book [“Kisses From Katie”] was for other people to be encouraged that, in small steps of obedience to God, he can create something more extraordinary than you could have imagined. When people come into my story from this side of things, they might say, ‘Oh, this young girl has this organization and all these children—either she’s totally crazy or she’s gotta’ be incredible.’ I’m neither, but the story started with one open door of going to this third-world country. I said yes, and then God placed needs in front of me, and I tried to meet them in the best way I could.

I think prayer is key. I would encourage people to follow and obey, and try to serve others one step at a time, whoever is in front of them. If there is an open door to go to a foreign country and it is something you want to explore, walk through the open door. Once you get there, God will open other doors and bring needs to you. And as you meet the needs right in front of you, he can build something different than we ever would have thought or planned.”

“Maybe courage is not at all about the absence of fear but about obedience even when we are afraid. Courage is trusting when we don’t know what is next, leaning into the hard and knowing that it will be hard, but more, God will be near.  Maybe bravery is just looking fear in the face and telling it that it does not win because I have known The Lord here. I have known The Lord in the long, dark night.

We still tremble, but more than that we have faith. Even though we feel uncertain, we press into a God who is so certain, so sure, so steady. He carries us, He lifts our heads. And His unfailing love and comfort becomes our courage and our hope.”

So what is God’s will for you? Be faithful to do what He sets before you. Move forward through one door, and He will open another. Trust, and, as God has told me very seriously: make sure to do nothing out of fear.

“…Do you love me?….Tend my sheep.”  John 21:16

“I am the Good Shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. He who is a hired hand and not a shepherd, who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. He flees because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep.”  John 10:11-13

“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”  Ephesians 5:1-2

God recently pointed out these scriptures to me and said to me, “This is what I want you to become. A shepherdess.” I  was a little puzzled at first, and began to ponder what that really meant. First, what does it mean to be a shepherd, and second, what are some important things to know about shepherding?

What does it mean to be a shepherd?

A shepherd must take very seriously the lives of the “sheep” that God has put into their care. This will look different for everyone, but God gives each of us our own “sheepfolds” – places where we meet people and become connected to them, such as school, work, church, etc. Depending on how outgoing you are, your “sheepfold” may be larger or smaller…but it’s still there, no matter who you are, or what your personality, we all know people who are hurting and need help. Each of these people you know will/have become your “sheep”; as God calls you to a serious relationship with Himself, it will never be simply for your own enjoyment – God calls us to always be pouring out our lives to help others, and the closer you get to God, the more He will ask you to give. And the closer you get to God, the bigger He will make your “sheepfold”…because you will begin to see, more and more, that you don’t have the right to choose who you feel comfortable talking to about Jesus or not…because every single person needs Him – even just the people you walk by in the grocery store or at the mall – and you may be their only chance to hear the gospel.

A shepherd’s duty is to invest their lives in the sheep. To give all they can give to see the sheep succeed. To teach them, to invite them over, to be available whenever they need help – or just a friend, and most importantly……

A shepherd is also the “priest” of their sheep-fold. This does not mean that you have to perform rituals with incense and wear weird hats. Let me share a few scriptures to clarify:

“Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

For every high priest chosen from among men is appointed to act on behalf of men in relation to God, to offer gifts and sacrifices for sins. He can deal gently with the ignorant and wayward, since he himself is beset with weakness. Because of this he is obligated to offer sacrifice for his own sins just as he does for those of the people. And no one takes this honor for himself, but only when called by God, just as Aaron was.”

Hebrews 4:14-5:4 

“The former priests were many in number, because they were prevented by death from continuing in office, but he holds his priesthood permanently, because he continues forever. Consequently, he is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them.”

Hebrews 7:23-25 

“But you are….a royal priesthood….” 1 Peter 2:9

These verses show us that God has called each of us to become like a high priest, just as Jesus did. This doesn’t mean that we are to think of ourselves as something special. No, it actually means quite the opposite. As shepherds and priests, it means we are to become the servants of all, and to deal compassionately with those God has placed in our care, knowing all that He has saved us from, and His great mercy toward us daily. But it also means that we are to live our lives to make intercession for these “sheep” of ours (intercession=earnest prayer). The job of the priests in Biblical times was to offer sacrifices and prayers before the Lord on behalf of their people. And in the same way, God has called us to pray earnestly for those He has given into our care. We are to uphold them in prayer as if their very lives depended on it. And indeed, so often they really do depend on it.

What are some important things to know about shepherding?

1.) Shepherding is not a part-time job.

We humans are always looking for the easiest way around things. We don’t want to just throw our lives into things without careful thought and planning…and making sure we still have plenty of time to do the things we want. “I don’t know if I really want to commit to that job right now…maybe I can just work part-time.” Well, in Biblical times, being a shepherd meant giving up your life to take care of your sheep. It meant 24/7 care. It meant that you spent your life leading your sheep around to new pastures, and being aware of their every need and trouble. A good shepherd literally invested their whole life into these sheep, so they were very careful to watch over them and take great pains to make sure they were well cared for. When you invest your own time and energy into something, you take a greater responsibility for it, because it has suddenly become a part of you. A shepherd didn’t have the choice of waking up late, or watching TV, or hanging out with friends and doing whatever he wanted to. A shepherd woke as the sheep woke, and had to continually keep watch over them, to make sure they had what they needed and that they were safe from harm. A bad shepherd was one that would relax when he should have been alert, and wild animals would come and kill the sheep. A bad shepherd would also be one who was simply out with the sheep because he had no other choice, and who didn’t invest his time and energy into taking the best possible care of them…so that when the wolves come to attack the sheep, he cares only about saving his own life, and flees – leaving the sheep to be devoured.

When God makes you a shepherdess, you can’t say, “Today I am ‘off duty’, and I’m not available to help anyone.” Nope. Serving God means being on call all the time, and when someone calls you at 2am, it means talking with them, and helping them gladly. It means when someone interrupts your plans or ideas for a nice time with their need for help, it means not hesitating to rush to their aid.

2.) Shepherding means laying down your life.

Like I mentioned in the previous point, shepherding means dying to yourself. Jesus is our example in this as John 10 says, “The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.”

We must be willing to set aside our own plans in order to pray for and help those around us. If they need prayer, we must be faithful to lift them up before the Lord. If they call us at 2am, we must be willing to talk. If they need a home, we must be willing to offer them ours…

We must always be willing to have God answer our prayers for people through us…otherwise, it is not real love and care for them. Of course we are always glad to pray for people who need help; praying that God sends them someone who can help them, someone to encourage them….someone to give them the money they need — the support they need. But…when you pray for God to provide for someone, are you willing to give your own last $50 to help them? When you pray for God to encourage them, are you willing to be the one to go out of your way to bake them cookies, invite them out to coffee, and just BE there for them? When you pray for them to be saved…are you willing to be the one to share the gospel with them?

I’m not saying these things to scare you out of praying, but to show you what real love for people looks like…and to show you the kind of heart attitude we need to have when we pray for people, if we truly want God to answer our prayers. Sometimes God will do things to answer our prayers that have nothing to do with us. Sometimes God will ask us to pray someone into salvation without ever talking to them even once. But sometimes…many times…God will test us to see what we are willing to do ourselves to help someone…and when we give all that we have to help those in need, God will both fill in anything else that is lacking and use our sacrifice to actually minister to their needy hearts.

As Oswald Chambers said so well, “It is one thing to follow God’s way of service if you are regarded as a hero, but quite another thing if the road marked out for you by God requires becoming a ‘doormat’ under other people’s feet. God’s purpose may be to teach you to say, ‘I know how to be abased…’ (Philippians 4:12). Are you ready to be sacrificed like that? Are you ready to be less than a mere drop in the bucket— to be so totally insignificant that no one remembers you even if they think of those you served? Are you willing to give and be poured out until you are used up and exhausted— not seeking to be ministered to, but to minister? Some saints cannot do menial work while maintaining a saintly attitude, because they feel such service is beneath their dignity.”

God wants us to serve and to give of ourselves without expecting any praise, any recognition, or any help from another person. And it is only a truly pleasing sacrifice when it is done with gladness and praise to God, and not begrudgingly.

3.) God will teach you obedience through your suffering. 

“In the days of his flesh, Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, with loud cries and tears, to him who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverence. Although he was a son, he learned obedience through what he suffered.”

(Hebrews 5:7-8 ESV) 

Even Jesus Himself had to go through suffering in order to be perfected, and to learn true obedience. When you live your life for others instead of yourself, it will require great suffering and difficulties. You will have your heart crushed when “sheep” you have invested much love and prayer in turn away from you. You will have to battle off the intense desires of your flesh for ease and pleasure continually. You will have your character shaped and pruned so that it becomes more pleasing to God – this can often be a painful process, and is never truly finished while we are here on earth. You will have to give up your own plans, your own comfort — even things that every other “normal” person feels entitled to may not be things that God allows you to have or do. But it is all worth it if some of your “sheep” are brought into freedom and life with Jesus! And, it is even worth it all if you learn the lessons that God needs to work in your heart, and you are drawn into a closer walk with Him.

So, I hope that you will join me in praying that we will cling more closely to God in all things, and that we will take our jobs more seriously, and pour out our lives more freely for the sake of others.

Only by His power working within us.

Lord, teach us how to be shepherdesses.

“Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the Great Shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, equip you with everything good that you may do His will, working in us that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.” 

Hebrews 13:20-21

I recently had a conversation with a young lady who, though confused about God’s opinion of homosexuality and how it could work in the realities of our culture, wanted to know the truth. So, I thought I would give a snapshot into our conversation for anyone else who is confused by the general acceptance of this sin in our culture.

Q: “The Bible says homosexuality is wrong…so does that mean those people no longer believe in God’s Word and have turned from Him, or can they still believe in Him as Lord and share the gospel with others? I know one way to look at this is that if someone is a true believer they would ask for God to keep them from temptation and never even go down that path, but like you said, it’s a sin, and believers sin everyday. So…what makes this so different? Is it because the sin is out there for the world to see? 

I ask all this because I believe some people were born to be this way and I’m always torn on this subject because I know what the Bible says but most of my friends are not straight. Any clarity on this would be much appreciated.”

A: Well, I’d definitely love to try to help clarify it for you.

First, as you said, sin is sin. God says that all lust is sin, no matter if you are a girl lusting after a girl, or a guy lusting after a girl or whatever. He says anger, pride, selfishness, lying, etc., are all sins.

So when someone sins with homosexuality it has roughly the same consequences as someone who steals something or lies.

The thing that most people don’t understand, though is that, when we sin, whatever it is, we are disobeying God. And in order to be right with God, we must repent (say sorry, and turn from our sins). One big problem with all the LGBT stuff, is that it has come in with a tide of intense pride. Pride keeps us from being able to be right with God, because that requires humility, and admitting we are wrong. This does not make it impossible for someone of the LGBT community to be right with God…but it makes it very hard, because they don’t want to hear anything other than praise for their choices. Someone who steals might feel guilty, and therefore, be moved to repent when told that what they did was wrong. But for so many LGBT’s, they have stopped their ears, and because of the pride behind the movement, can’t hear anything that is said against homosexuality, because they are proud of their choices, and not feeling guilty in the least.

Now, you mentioned Christians sinning every day. This is true — how well I know. However, being a Christian means — literally — being a follower of Christ; meaning you love what He stands for and says in the Bible. It is undeniable that God is unwavering in His justice, and when we sin, we must also repent. The Christian who refuses to repent for a sin, or tries to justify it, becomes stagnant and distances themselves from God. I’ve seen it happen in my own life. The moment God asks you to surrender something and you refuse, that is the moment you stop moving forward. The moment you sin, there is a barrier between your relationship with God…and you can FEEL it. The sin that Christ’s atonement covers is CONFESSED sin. Sin that is hidden, or justified, and left unconfessed is sin that is not covered in the atonement of Christ. BUT, as SOON as we confess and forsake our sins, we WILL have mercy, and the barriers are removed, and we can experience the joys of God’s presence again!

So, if you love Christ, and you want to follow His commands, and do what is pleasing to Him…then you are a Christian. Even if you fail, you will be alright if you do what He asks and just humble yourself and say sorry.

However, if you say you are a Christian, but you don’t like some of what He says, that means you can’t really BE a Christian…because it means you are forming a new and different “god” for yourself according to your own passions and desires. God does not change, and we don’t get to pick and choose which commands we like and which we don’t…and which parts of God we prefer. God is God. He has been from the beginning. And He hasn’t changed His mind as the cultures have changed. If we don’t like what God stands for, then we don’t really like God.

Saying God is ok with homosexuality and would encourage you to pursue whatever makes you happy would be like a boyfriend being convinced that you think Hitler was a good guy, that you find running over cats in your car to be funny, and that you love when people drive off of cliffs. It’s simply not true about you, and if this person was only your boyfriend because they were convinced that you believed these things, they’d really be in love with someone else, because the person they have created you to be in their mind is not really you. And, in fact, you would probably be quite offended that they thought such things of you!

That’s kind of a weird example, but I just wanted to illustrate what it is that we do to God, when we say we love Him, but we don’t agree with this command, and this verse here…and that one there.

So, if someone is unwilling to see their sin as sin, and confess and forsake it, I really don’t think they can be “Christians”. I don’t think you can be a Christian and not love and try to obey God’s Word.

1 John 1:6-8 says, “God is light, and in Him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with Him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us.”

You might love God…but if you don’t want to be set free from your sins, there’s no point in even calling yourself a Christian…because Jesus came to set us free from sin — not just to save us from Hell…but to actually give us NEW hearts and lives!!

But if we don’t want the heart that HE considers to be new, and pure, and righteous, then we don’t really want the God of the Bible.

So it’s the same for all sins…even though, yes, homosexuality is often zeroed in on because 1) if you don’t struggle with it, then it’s easy to pick on it without your own conscience being pricked, and 2) because the whole movement IS so full of pride, and is very “in your face” about a lot of things, so that if you stand up for God’s standards at all, you *will* likely come head-to-head with them, because they won’t let you go un-challenged.

BUT, there’s also another angle.

A couple, actually.

First, a lot of them are hurt. Angry. Bitter. Many girls who decide to become lesbians/transgender have been hurt…many have been abused…many have been raped. They hate men. They don’t trust men. But they feel like their only safety and security is in becoming one themselves…and becoming unattractive to guys, then they won’t be hurt again. They think maybe, just maybe their hearts will be safer and their longings met in another girl instead of trusting their aching hearts to the gender who has broken them time and time again.

I know someone who went through this. BUT…Jesus has set her free from the anger and bitterness and the intense hurts…and has made her able to love again, and to enjoy being a girl again! (She wrote an article in my last Unshakable Girl e-Mag, which you can read on Issuu.com.)

And I know Jesus sees these hurting little girls inside — no matter what the exterior looks like, and He wants to help them. He loves them…and calls out to them…because freedom is only found in Him.

BUT…then there is our culture. Our media is insanely bad. I haven’t watched a mainstream movie for the past 5 years, because they were getting so bad…and they have only gotten worse since then. Our music is just as bad — maybe worse. I’ve chosen not to listen to any secular music for a long time, but I’ve heard songs in stores blaspheming God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. I’ve heard songs glorifying the party lifestyle, glorifying sex, glorifying doing whatever makes you happy. I’ve heard songs saying, “I can’t help it, even if I tried,” about being gay. Everything we are watching and pumping through our earbuds 24/7 is telling us to live for whatever makes us happy, and is feeding us a way of life that is completely abominable to God and goes against His Word and His character in every way. How can someone stand against such a tide of ungodliness?? It’s practically impossible, unless you truly know God and hold onto Him and hold onto Truth with every ounce of strength you have.

On top of it all, all our media (including video games) actually have real, demonic spirits attached to them, and when we willfully listen to and watch those things, we open the door to let those things into our lives…and they are SO deceitful. I’ve felt their power before. The devil can flick on and off our emotions like a light switch. He can enflame us with passion for someone/something that makes no sense at all, and makes it SEEM like it’s our thoughts — our idea…and that we NEED to do it! Or He can make us feel SO depressed and overwhelmed over nothing at all.

But as Christians, we can simply rebuke the devil in Jesus’ name, and he WILL flee from us. However, if we are not following Christ, we don’t have His authority, and these demonic spirits are able to totally wreak havoc on our lives. Even so, Jesus can set us free…but…we have to want to be free. And that is the catch.

So, I personally don’t believe that people are born to be that way. God made us male and female, just how He meant us to be…and even goes so far in the Bible as to say that even a man wearing woman’s clothing and vise-versa is abominable to Him. He doesn’t make mistakes. And He really doesn’t give any wiggle room. Some people may be more inclined to fall into the sin of homosexuality, just like some people tend to struggle with lying more, or anger more. But just because you struggle with the desire to want to throw things and punch people, does that mean you should give in to that temptation? No! The same is true with homosexuality. God doesn’t give us homosexual desires — we choose them because of our sinful nature, as Romans 1:24-27 says; it’s not because of the way we were born, but because of our choices and desires to sin.

Any of us could go that way if we let our sinful thoughts take root…and act on them. But the point of His salvation and the gift of His Holy Spirit is to give us NEW hearts with NEW desires, and the power to resist temptation, and flee from it.

Q: “I have drifted away from church and believers just because I couldn’t stand how most of them were — and I find myself, now — in that place of picking and choosing what they wanted to believe of God’s Word. I didn’t fully realize it until you said that we can love God but not really love and obey Him. I’ve always thought that He made you to feel certain ways toward certain genders despite what you were on the outside. 

For the longest time I felt like something has been missing…and it seems like I’m growing more attracted to other women, but I’ve kept myself from pursuing those thoughts and feelings because, I knew if I did, I wouldn’t be able to work at places with kids for a very long time — if ever — and that’s selfish. But I feel like that shouldn’t be my reason at all. I should be saying “no” to those thoughts because of what God says and wants from me…but with my tug-of-war relationship with Him that’s hard to do. 

I’ve been through a lot and I’m tired of it. Every time I feel like I’m growing in my faith something happens and I take 10 steps back.”

A: I understand your struggle with the church. I travel to so many churches now with my family’s ministry, and see so many people in the same place of going to church, but not having a real love for the Lord. We fail to realize that just going to church can’t take away the emptiness and cleanse our hearts from their sinful tendencies. So many people in the church are still living in sin, and living with their worldly worldviews, because they don’t actually have a living relationship with the Lord and/or haven’t let the Lord search their hearts for things that are displeasing to Him — because they don’t want to let go of the things that make them feel comfortable or happy. But God didn’t come to make us comfortable or happy. He came to give us new hearts, and lives that are full of light and joy. He came to make us into His children.

However, it is good to keep in mind that, no matter what people around you do and say, God IS real, and following Him with total surrender IS worth it! No matter what someone else does or doesn’t do, what is important is to make sure your OWN heart and life are right with the Lord, and that you are walking in His ways –in obedience– yourself. Not every person who calls themselves a Christian is going to be a true reflection of Christ (we’re all sinners!), many will fall short, and make mistakes…but that doesn’t make God’s Word and the truth of the Bible any less true or real. If you want to have an unwavering relationship with Christ, go to the Bible, and walk according to what it says, not according to what the people around you do or don’t do. Then you will be firmly rooted when the winds of adversity and the struggles and trials of life come.

And, whatever reason you’ve had behind it, it IS good that you have been keeping yourself from pursuing those thoughts you’ve had. That is the starting point for doing what is right. “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation He will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it,” and, “Resist the devil, and he WILL flee from you,” are two very helpful scriptures in this case. With the first, it is comforting to know that you are not alone, and also, that every time you are tempted, there IS a way out. There is never a temptation that you are forced to give in to. BUT, we have to be willing to actually TAKE the way of escape that God makes for us. And most times it isn’t pleasant to our flesh…because, like I said before, every temptation the devil throws at us is something we LIKE or WANT…otherwise, it wouldn’t be tempting. It would be like if I held a can of rotten eggs in front of your face, hoping it would lure you wherever I wanted you to go; it’s not really that effective unless the bait is something you really want. Now if I said, “Do such-and-such for me, and I’ll give you a $1,000 gift card to your favorite store,” you’d probably jump at the offer! The devil is very clever…and does everything he can to destroy any hope we have of a relationship with the Lord. He seems to especially love anything that will wrap us in guilt, and make us think that we can never be good enough to walk with the Lord again. But the reality is, God makes it the most simple thing ever: we just have to humble ourselves and say sorry…and then he removes our sin from us as far as the east is from the west, and remembers it no more, and will never hold it against us. But the devil tells us, “You can’t say sorry now! You’re too bad. God can’t forgive you for that.” Thinking that any sin you commit is too big for God to forgive it is pride.

Q: “How can I grow closer to God when the devil really likes to screw up my life? Every time I get closer one of two things happens: 1.) I date a guy who says he’s a believer but turns out to be either lying and have his own religion, or he turns into an abuser or a pervert. 2.) Someone I care for dies. 

I know God does things to test us as well. Just look what he let happen to Job. Sadly, I’m not strong enough to keep pressing into God in the midst of my hardship. 

And…how can I wait on Him to find me the right man? If I’m meant to be with someone?”

A: The key to growing closer to the Lord, and staying close, instead of your relationship with Him being like a yo-yo, is…actually just 1.) Being faithful in the small things, and, 2.) Trusting in God’s good character, and holding fast to it, without doubting or acting out of fear.

So, first, be faithful to seek Him each day. We act like we deserve God’s benefits for nothing — we want God to bless us, and everything to be perfect, but we don’t actually want to exert any effort. But…what friendship is like that?? How can you ever be best friends with someone unless you hang out with them, talk with them all the time, get to know all the things they love, and exert the effort it takes to know all about them?

It is the most important thing in your whole life. More important than making money, more important than friends, more important than anything….so it should be scheduled that way. Even if you have to get up an hour earlier and lose a little sleep, it is well worth it. Our lives on earth are just a fleeting breath, but our spirits will last forever.

Any time you have free time, or you’re doing something that doesn’t take a lot of thought — pray! Sometimes we feel like it has to be a big chunk of time to “count”, but every 10 minutes we get to spend time with the Lord, is a 10 minutes well spent. Also, there have been times when I was feeling so overwhelmed and oppressed and just like I wanted to cry for no reason at all that I could put my finger on…and I just stepped away to pray for 10 minutes, and rebuked the devil and every oppressive spirit, and asked God to fill me with His Spirit and peace — and even joy…and I immediately felt lighter and more joyful!

Also, be willing to do whatever He asks, knowing that it is always for our good — because God knows what things will destroy our lives, and lead us down wrong paths, and sidetrack us from investing in eternity.

And one thought about waiting to find the right guy: It is far better to be single and totally in love with the Lord and walking in a way that is pleasing to Him, than to be in a relationship that is not godly, and which will destroy your life and your eternal life, and take away all your joy in the Lord. There have been many single women who have been sold out for Jesus, and were surrendered to whatever God wanted them to do…and He was able to use them in amazing ways! Women like Gladys Aylward, Amy Carmichael, Mary Slessor…and even Katie Davis, a modern day gal who felt God telling her to give up her life in America, and move to Uganda to be a mom to orphan girls…and she actually just got married this year, because God finally brought along a very godly guy who was glad to be a part of what God had called her to do.

The world makes us feel like our lives don’t really have meaning until/unless we have a relationship…and like we are worthless or useless till then. But that isn’t true at all! ANY person who is surrendered to God, and just wants to be used by Him CAN be! Relationships are really just extra — in fact, Paul says in the Bible that it is much easier to serve the Lord and be single, and HE found the joy in it! Being married is a blessing, but it is not essential, and in fact, can be just one long distraction unless both people actually love JESUS first and want to serve Him with their lives.

So, every story is different, but if you have it set in your heart that you want to follow Jesus, and will not compromise for the sake of a relationship, God will honor that. I personally had to come to the place where I was willing to surrender the concept of ever being married or being in a relationship, before God was able to actually give me my husband. Because God knows that unless we are able to surrender these things and put Him first in our lives, we will make an idol out of them, and love our relationships and our significant other MORE than we love Him. And He knows that would destroy us, because no human can live up to that standard; none of us can fill that hole of needing unconditional love in someone else’s life — only God can do that. So I had to come to the point in my own heart where I was able to say, “God, I love you, and whether I ever get married or not, I will serve you with my life. Even if it means I will never have a companion, never get to have my first kiss, never have the comfort of someone’s hand to hold. I surrender these things, and I say YES, Lord. Yes, I will serve you, even still.”

And it was only after that hurdle was overcome in my own heart, and I gave up my dreams of marriage, that God was able to bring my husband to me…because it was only then that He knew that it wouldn’t destroy me by becoming my first love.