I have had lots of heartaches and disappointments when it comes to friendships. These things can make me hesitant, at best, when it comes to investing in new relationships. I find myself struggling, wondering if it is worth the time and effort….wondering if (or, more accurately: “when”) this person is going to just move on with their life, making new and better friends, not even remembering I exist. And, it can be hard saying goodbye to someone who has become a new friend – never knowing if I will even ever see them again. And with our not-so-normal lives (always traveling, always at the whim of others as to where we will be, when we will be leaving, how long we will be gone, etc.), I am confronted with these things a lot. There’s just nothing that you can ever count on to be the same from one day to the next. And throughout my life, I have had so many friends who have moved on in life, or moved away, or walked away from the Lord and, consequently, didn’t really want to hang out with me any more.

All that to say….I have a hard time opening my heart to people. It might surprise you to hear me say that, but it is true. I have lost so many friends, that I have a tendency to put up walls in my heart to not let myself get too close, or too attached, so that “WHEN” they leave too, I don’t have to deal with the hurt, and the loneliness.

And so, I have learned to turn off my heart. I cease caring. I don’t want to risk loving. And yet….lately, I have felt so strongly that Jesus has been asking me to let myself love people. And, more, to let HIM love people the way HE wants, through me.

A New Perspective

The other day I was thinking about friendships that had formed, but where God was calling them elsewhere yet again….and, with a bit of grumbling, I asked God, “Why, Lord? Why do we always have to say goodbye? Why does it seem like I can’t ever have friends who stick around? I don’t want to struggle so much to love people, but…aren’t I kind of justified here, in the way I’m feeling? I mean….look — you don’t see any friends here, do you?”

But God just started speaking to me, and gave me a really sweet perspective.  I’ll do my best to try to explain.

He showed me that every moment I invest in a friendship here on earth translates into eternity. Every moment spent loving someone is a moment — a memory — that transfers into Heaven. If I spend just one afternoon loving someone, and making memories with them, and then never see them again on earth during my lifetime, I will STILL recognize them in heaven. And not only will I recognize them, but we will have an instant, meaningful connection that is a deeper connection than with just about anyone else there — because we actually spent time together on earth. As little or much as it may have been, it is still a touchpoint that we will have between us forever. A memory together that goes “way back”.

So God was gently showing me that I don’t have to be afraid of investing in friendships. In fact, each opportunity that I take to pour into someone, and to let myself love them fully will reach into eternity. Loving someone is never pointless or a waste of time, but each time I let myself love them, a bond of friendship that can’t be taken from us is nurtured…and in Heaven, we will meet upon some side street sometime, and immediately have that bond — that connection — from our moments together on earth, that goes even deeper than with all of the multitudes that I never knew on earth (granted, I’ll probably meet them all eventually, and probably become close friends….but there will still be that special connection with those I loved on earth). And we’ll be just as comfortable to run out to a quiet field somewhere to catch up on the past several hundred years, and where God took each of us, and what happened when we were apart.

Heaven-Bound Friendships

And it is just so sweet, because there is no time limit on heaven-bound friendship, like the friendships of this world have. And, being creatures born of this world, we so often feel that same press of time upon us…..that feeling of there being a real end of our lives, and the struggles that come with that — including the struggle of feeling like you’ll never get to see someone again if they move away.

But for those of us who are heaven-bound, we can rejoice that there will always be a “later”. We don’t have to grapple to cling to a friendship on earth, or melt into a puddle of despair when friends leave us (or we leave them), because we have been blessed with an eternity on the other side of the toils of this life, where, when our labors to rescue souls have come to a rest, we will have all the time we could ever want to be able to spend with each and every person there. We can rejoice that, no matter how many years pass on earth without us meeting, there will always be a “later”. We WILL see them again.

And for now, we can rest in our mission to rescue lost souls…..and not just to rescue them, but to LOVE them…..and thus, to be able to greet them in heaven as well, as dear friends — with a shout of joy and a big, big hug!

In part one, we talked about brightening Valentine’s Day for single moms.  In part two, the focus was on showing love to the elderly.  Now, with Valentine’s Day just over the horizon, I want to refocus again.

The fact is, everyone needs the reminder that Jesus loves them.  Valentine’s Day having the potential to be a lonely time, it can be a wonderful opportunity to express kindness to anyone.  When you are praying, ask the Lord to open your eyes to the places you might have overlooked where He might want to shine His loving light.

For you once were not a people, but now you are the people of God; you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.
~1 Peter 2:10

As you walk forward with Jesus, it can be so good to remember where you have been.  Where were you when He first called your name?  What was the first tear that He wiped away?  What walls did you have built up to protect yourself before His love broke through?  From where did His hand of mercy pull you free?

Remembering these things has been so important for me.  I’m not naturally social, so it can feel risky to start a conversation with someone or to offer an encouraging word.  Even when I was very good at hiding every kind of insecurity, others risked sharing their hearts with me.  They showed me Jesus when I was all alone, even though they didn’t know what I was going through.  Risky as it can feel, I don’t know what the story is behind the faces I see around me, sometimes not even the ones I interact with every day.  It can be so easy to go years without anyone discovering the ache in your heart, because they want to believe you when you say that you are fine and when you smile.  It reminds me that sometimes the “survivors,” the ones who seem the most fine, the ones to have it all together, are the ones that need the encouragement the most.  Even through their smiles, confidence, and self-reliance, they can be some of the Valentines that feel the most left behind.

What is such a blessing is that we do not know how small things can be used to plant seeds of joy in the lives of others.  Sometimes it can be discouraging to be unable to see whether taking a risk and caring for someone has done what we have hoped, but no seed Jesus has planted ever goes to waste.  Keep talking to Him as you take the small steps, and He will remind you of His purpose in what He is having you do.  Sometimes He will surprise you with the chance to learn just how much the things that you do might mean to another person.

So where will God lead you in reaching out to others?  Are there people at your church who could use the reminder that their work is appreciated?  Maybe a coworker needs to know that someone is there for them as they go throughout the day.  Perhaps cookies or a card would brighten the day for the mailman, your favorite

librarians, or a neighbor that you have.  You could encourage a sibling or family member, or even strike up a conversation with the cashier at your favorite café or fast food hangout.  It can be a step out of the old comfort zone, but don’t be afraid of the vulnerability that comes with being sincere.  You don’t have to wow anyone with a bubbly personality or amazingly deep and wise thoughts.  It is so meaningful just to have someone give an honest compliment, or shyly give a gift from the heart.  Jesus has so much more sweetness to share with the world than all of the clearance chocolate put together.  Stay close to Him this year, and watch where He takes you as that love rubs off on others in your life.  And have a very happy Valentine’s Day.

How has Jesus changed the way that you see Valentine’s Day?  If you have a story or a Bible verse that you would like to share, please let us know in the comments!  You can also start the conversation on Facebook.  I hope that your day is sweetly and richly blessed.

Last week’s post introduced ways Jesus’ love can overflow our hearts and be used to bless others.  The focus was on loving single moms.  This week, I wanted to highlight another demographic that would love any extra smiles you have to offer this Valentine’s Day.

Valentine’s Day can feel like a day gone by to shut-ins and the elderly.  At the same time that a young single girl might be sitting at home and wondering why her day isn’t pink and roses, other hearts are sitting indoors, maybe recalling the days of dances and holding hands that are now only memories.  Jesus wants to hold these hearts too.  He wants them to know that they are dearly loved, and never forgotten.

It can be easy to try to bring warmth into someone’s life through an upbeat smile and a chipper attitude, but it is not always easy to start a meaningful conversation with someone when you might not even know their story.

Perhaps you already know of older people to visit who would love the company, or you may be venturing into new territory.  Every person will be different, so be sensitive in interacting with those to whom God leads you.  Valentine’s Day often feels like a time to make a big show of affection through gifts and attention, but it may also be a point of sorrow for someone who is grieving a loved one.  If you aren’t sure what the best approach would be, just bring yourself and be a friend.  Remember that sometimes the best thing you can do is just listen.

Some people don’t need much encouragement to start a conversation, with others, it may be helpful to ask questions.  What sorts of music do they like?  Maybe you could even listen together of your phone.  Do they have a favorite season, flower, or sport?  If they have been in church for a large part of their lives, they may have favorite Bible verses or hymns.  You may even find common ground that you didn’t expect.  I once had a very amusing conversation with my grandmother about how we didn’t understand the trends and fads of “our generation” (hers and mine respectively), and how they all had to be up on the latest things like Elvis or rap music.

Be sensitive, but don’t be afraid to reach out.  It can be common in nursing homes for a person to have physical touch from those who care for them, but not very often from friends who have time to sit and hold their hand or give a reassuring touch.  Jesus also reached out into places and to people that needed the warmth of His reassuring hand.  Spend time with Him and learn His same compassion for people who are in situations we might not understand.  Even if they seem not to understand everything that is going on around them, ask Jesus to give you His eyes to look past it, and His hear to speak to them as a friend would.  In the midst of a life that rushes by, stop and have a chat with someone who needs a friend.  He may share a blessing with you that you did not expect as you reach out to share His love.

Ask if you can pray with them before you leave.  Even if a person’s mind is not what it used to be, their spirits often remember the touch of their Savior.  It is such a sweet thing to hear a heart that has long belonged to Jesus when it prays.  If you think that you may not be able to visit again for a while, make sure to tell them what the time meant to you.  Don’t be afraid to speak from the heart and let them know what has touched you.  For someone who cannot get out much anymore, it can mean the world to know that they can still reach others too.

If you have any stories you would like to share or ideas for reaching out to others, please let us know in the comments.  We would love to get to know you or answer any questions you might have.  Thank you so much for spending time here with us.  Next week will be the final post on making sure no Valentines are left behind.